In a recent coaching session with a client, they expertly described the feeling of hitting a speed bump but mistaking it for a cliff. And if that isn’t the life of an ADHDer, I don’t know what is.

Task initiation is hard for us ADHDers. And habit formation? Seems impossible at times. Then, we finally get into a routine where everything feels good and we’re firing on all cylinders, then: bam. We get hit with illness/last minute schedule change/vacation/ [enter barrier here] and we fall. Hard.

We hit that speed bump going 40 miles per hour and it feels like we’re careening off the cliff. But the reality is, it was just a speed bump, and while we may have hit our head on the car roof and feel a bit dazed, we can grab the wheel and get back on track.

ADHDers often live in the binary. We believe we’re either doing well, or we aren’t. We’re being productive or we’re slacking off. We’re taking care of our bodies, or we’re a human trash can. None of these are truths, because our lives are not bound to binaries. But we struggle with this black and white thinking, so we believe these things and they can shape how we view ourselves.

The truth is, you don’t need to start from scratch. You just need to crank your wheel to get on course. Check your tires to make sure you don’t need maintenance (this is a metaphor for checking in with yourself and focus on anything that feels out of alignment) and get back to it.

Getting started is genuinely hard. For everyone, but especially for ADHDers. Our brains require more activation to initiate task than the average bear, so it’s no wonder we struggle in this area. So, all the more reason to get back on course rather than throw in the towel or worse, try to start over again.

One Tiny Step

You did the work. You made the progress. Your brain doesn’t need to start over- it just needs some support to get back on course.

If you’ve hit that speed bump and you’re currently sitting on the side of the road, cursing yourself for not staying on track, take a deep breath and take one tiny step forward.

Don’t worry about how far you have to go, or how hard it was to get to this point already. You’re taking it one step at a time.

Examples

• You haven’t spoken or seen your friend in months, and you feel like it’s too far gone now to check in because you’ve been avoiding texts and generally feel like a bad friend.
  • Small step: Send one text. No need to explain yourself right now. Just send the text. (“Hey! Thinking of you.”)
• You haven’t been getting enough sleep the last month even though you had been devoted to sleeping 8 hours every night for weeks.
  • Small step: Choose to go to bed 15 minutes earlier than last night.
• You “fell off the wagon” of late-night snacking.
  • Small step: Tell yourself that tonight you are making a choice to “close the kitchen” by 8pm. Maybe tomorrow you will have a late-night snack, but that’s none of your business right now. Tonight you’ve made a choice to not snack after 8pm.
• You feel super behind at work and have been avoiding finishing a training you know you need to complete.
  • Small step: Open the training. No one asked you to start it yet. Just have it open in its own window. Maybe it stays open on your computer for 3 days. Or maybe you get the motivation to watch the first module. Either way, you’re taking the smallest step forward. And forward is progress.

What speed bump have you hit that felt like a cliff? Give yourself permission to start the engine up again and get back on the road.