When life gets overwhelming and everything feels out of control, our cortisol levels spike and we start experiencing signs of stress or even burnout. ADHDers already have higher levels of cortisol, so the added stress only makes things harder. Our ADHD symptoms start to become even more challenging and our systems we have no longer serve us (because we’re now functioning at a different, often lower capacity).
When we’re in stress or burnout mode, our ADHD symptoms don’t “get worse” but my daily functioning is more impacted. Many people think of disabilities like ADHD or Autism has having a set severity level- you’re mildly, moderately, or severely impaired. For example, a term like “profound Autism” implies much higher support needs than someone who says they have “high-functioning Autism”. However, these neurotypes, and most disabilities in general, don’t operate on a steady state of functioning. On any given day, one’s Autistic or ADHD traits can be more pronounced than others. Even within the same day, our “functioning” can look different. Most of this is the nuance of a disability like ADHD or Autism- day-to-day, minute-to-minute, our support needs can change. Even more, our capacity for changes in our environment or supports we have in place can fluctuate as well. Add in any major life events or significant hardships and all bets are off.
The best bet would be to remove the stressor. Less stress = increased capacity and improved mental health. However, what if you can’t get rid of the stress? This is where intentional self-care comes in. Everyone and their mom talks about the elusive “self-care”, but I promise, when done right, it’s the difference between managing and improving your mental health and going into full shutdown mode. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to avoid the latter.
Here’s what I’m doing to help mitigate the risk for burnout:
- Going to bed on time! Nothing helpful happens late at night for me. My brain shuts off around 9pm so any “work” I’m trying to do is likely to be of poor quality anyways.
- Limiting the caffeine. I’m not saying I’m avoiding caffeine. I need to look forward to something! But I am saying, I’m intentionally not chugging caffeine all day and instead, once I’m done with my morning iced latte, I’m reaching for water instead. I do allow myself my afternoon Diet Coke fix (this is a beloved sensory experience for me that I notice boosts my dopamine for afternoon tasks), but beside those two beverages, I’m sticking to water or seltzer (which thankfully, I also enjoy).
- Screentime limits. I turn my phone to “focus” during work hours, while driving, or otherwise engaged in something I don’t want interruptions. This doesn’t prevent me from using my phone, but it turns off notifications, so I don’t get distracted when I’m not planning on it. I also turn on screentime limits based on how long I’ve used a particular app as well as at the end of the day (goes on at 9pm to prevent mindless scrolling right before bed and ends at 7am so I don’t reach for my phone first things in the morning). I notice that when I’m in stress and/or burnout mode, I lean heavily on my phone for dopamine boost, which isn’t really a dopamine boost at all. It becomes a circuit of scrolling for the sake of scrolling rather than actually getting anything enjoyable out of the experience.
- Talk to my therapist. I’m privileged enough to have found a therapist I can afford, take time to see, and feel connected to, and I don’t take that for granted. I reliably participate in my therapy sessions and I can look forward to discussing my challenges and problem solving how best to support myself.
- Ask “what can I add” rather than avoid as it pertains to fueling my body with food. When I get in stress and burnout mode, I gravitate toward highly processed, convenient foods (both for the immediate dopamine boost and because I’m typically requiring something easy, lest I just not eat). Instead of policing this intake, I focus on what I can add to my eating habits during the day to help provide me nourishment.
- Find opportunities for movement. I like weightlifting but there are barriers to entry that make it challenging for me to access this as a movement choice. Carving out enough time in my day to drive to the gym, have workout clothes packed, ensuring I’m following a plan that I like with a focus on progressive overload, etc. Instead of throwing in the towel and telling myself “If I can’t do it right, I just shouldn’t do it at all”, I pivot my expectations. I can tell myself that any weightlifting is progress, but I struggle to believe that, so instead I tell myself that any movement is progress. This distinction lets me move my body with the focus on improving my mental health, rather than strictly for physical or aesthetic benefits. Any movement means just that: any movement. Have 5 minutes? Do stretching at your desk. Have 15 minutes? Take a walk around the block at lunchtime. Have 30 minutes? Grab your kid and dog and head to a hiking trail for an afternoon trail walk. If you don’t have specific chunks of time in your day (which happens to me a lot), incorporate movement when you can – like standing or walking while on the phone or on virtual training, intentionally playing tag with your kid after school, or playing chase with your dog when you let them out in the morning for a couple minutes. A body in motion stays in motion and the more you infuse your day with natural movement the more “natural” it will feel.
- Co-regulate. This is especially helpful with kids. Kids feed off your energy. If you’re not doing well, it’s noticed, despite your best efforts. And that’s okay! Kids can handle big feels, as long as their trusted grown up can help them through it. One way to do this when you’re handling your own big feelings is to model for and with them. If you’re frustrated, label that feeling out loud (in a kid-friendly way) while making a conscious choice for how to help regulate that feeling. This helps teach your kid how best to support themselves while also giving you the tools to help in the moment too. This can be such a helpful (and needed) reminder for us in those moments.
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